Brad Messer Commentary
8:15 a.m. Tuesday, Dec. 3, 2002

 

They call it the Two-Striped Telamonia. The Jumping Spider. Native to Indonesia and India, now also found in Singapore.

I would say it is "flesh colored" but someone would ask "exactly whose flesh?" and I would plunge into the politically-incorrect Canyon canyon canyon. So I will simply say the female Two-Striped Telamonia is midway between pink and orange. The male is also flesh-colored: he's black. I couldn't stop myself.

An e-mail circulating on the internet says this, quote:

Three women in North Florida turned up at hospitals over a 5-day period, all with the same symptoms. Fever, chills, and vomiting, followed by muscular collapse, paralysis, and finally, death. There were no outward signs of trauma. Autopsy results showed toxicity in the blood. These women did not know each other, and seemed to have nothing in common. It was discovered, however, that they had all visited the same restaurant...

The report says a toxicologist found a small spider living under a toilet seat in the women's restroom. Quote,

This spider's venom is extremely toxic, but can take several days to take effect. They live in cold, dark, damp, climates, and toilet rims provide just the right atmosphere.

Yep, that's exactly what the report says. However, restrain yourself from toilet-seat panic: the spiders are real, but they're not here, and the internet report is totally-phony baloney. Thank goodness I'm here to protect you from this internet stuff. I know you're grateful.

Brad Messer— commentary, KTSA.


Two-Striped Telamonia
(Telamonia dimidiata)
FEMALE
MALE
 

Guide to Singapore Spiders
Beware of Deadly Spiders Hiding Under Toilet Seats

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