PETA, bearskins and grackles
Hows this for something to do? Pick an animal, kill it, cut off some of its body, dry that out, then put it on your head for decoration. You up for that?
Its what the British Royal Guards have done for two centuries. Their foot-tall bearskin hats are world famous.
The hats have attracted the attention of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. PETA wants the Guards in London to take off the dead animals and wear something synthetic. They've written a bunch of activist letters to the Queen, who I guess is either David Bowie or Elton John.
The Coldstream Guards and Grenadiers and the other hat guys say hey, this fur is from bears in Canada that were gonna be killed anyway, to thin the population, so why waste their fur? Supposedly there are too many bears in Canada, like deer in Hollywood Park, or lawyers everywhere.
The Guards say nothing besides real bearskin looks good not nylon, sheepskin, nothing.
My idea to help the British is to suggest gracklefeather hats. As soon as our developers get the rest of our trees cut down, grackles won't have anywhere left to roost anyway. My reasoning is that it would kind of be helping them to kill them and ship them to London.
Brad Messer commentary, KTSA.