Flying Fruit

This apple toss story is such a welcome relief.

A boyfriend and girlfriend argue. He does not throw her out a window, in front of a train, or into freeway traffic. None of that. He throws an apple at her.

How wholesome can you get? An apple.

Other cities are going to be jealous of us down here. Their lovebirds are settling things with bullets and blades. Ours are using healthy fruit. (Further investigation may reveal whether it was union-picked, domestic fruit, which might be turned into a campaign issue for Democrats.)

It surely could have been worse, Shirley. You know how that one magazine calls us Fat City? What if Apple Boy had tossed a taco instead? I can imagine the National Enquirer headline: Fat City Taco Assault!!! It would have been awful.

So it all works out and might even help us be seen as a World Class City. Where else do they settle spats with flying fruit?

Brad Messer, commentary, KTSA.