Hole Theory

I'm clicking around the internet and up comes a headline that someone has solved "the riddle of the black holes."

I didn't know there was one. I don't put much truck in black holes, anti-matter or quarks. It's just so much mumbo jumbo. I believe humans haven't the slightest clue about what is really really going on. We're as backward as cavemen, looking at stars and believing they're the eyeballs of giant frogs or some such.

Anyway, here comes famous scientist Stephen Hawking, saying he's had another idea about black holes, which he will explain next week at a conference, and I'm here to tell you that scientists worldwide are in dithers and tizzys and can't hardly wait.

Here, shortened down, is what Doctor Hawkings has thought up, which as the headline reported will solve "the riddle of the black holes."

He thinks they will eventually just evaporate.

This apparently makes cosmologists have chills run through their slim, white-frocked bodies. They are quite stoked about black holes evaporating.

I say humor them and let 'em believe what they want. They may be about as near right as the giant frog theory.

Brad Messer, commentary, KTSA.