Meaning of After

I heard a report the other day about a wreck. The news announcer said a man was killed after his car hit a utility pole. Strange, huh. The man's car hit a pole, and then some time after that, he was killed. I halfway wondered how he was killed. Couldn't have been the wreck that did it, because the story said he was killed after that.

Where's Bill Clinton when we need him. He knew the meaning of "is" and could probably explain to reporters and editors the meaning of "after".

Here's an example from today's Express-News website: "Man drowns in backyard swimming pool. An epileptic man drowned Sunday after he was found at the bottom of a relative's backyard swimming pool."

What? He drowned after he was found on the bottom of the pool? First, someone found him on the pool bottom and then, after that, he drowned? That must have been a very weird situaton. I'd like to know what went on.

All communicators should be rounded up for a two-day seminar (because it would take that long) to re-teach them the meaning of "after". It ain't all that complicated.

Brad Messer, commentary, KTSA.