Scoring Life

I'm glad they don't score real life like they score Olympic events.

If you parked a little crooked in your parking place, there'd be the off-screen announcer: "Mary's perfectly lined up front to rear, but the front tire is an inch closer to the curb than the rear tire. Take 1.3 points off for parking. She is definitely not going to be a winner."

Or you're in line at Walmart. "It's Jose's turn at the register, and he is not in good position at all. He doesn't have his credit card out and ready, so thats going to slow everyone down. And look, he didn't put his bar codes up, either. Poor performance in checkout, and that'll cost him 1.7 points. He'll never make the quarterfinals."

Or you're a city manager. But that would take all morning to score, wouldn't it.

I don't know how the Olympians stand it. Life is tough enough as it is, without instant critiques. They probably ought to get special medals just for surviving the announcers.

Brad Messer, commentary, KTSA.